THE REGINA MONOLOGUES

How can an American live the bling life in Canada? Make sure you book your travel arrangements last minute so that there is nothing left but the "Prime Minister's Suite" at the best hotel in that tiny town you're in. "The Queen stays there!" says a resident.

I ate a very hearty and delicious meal at The Willow on Wascana here in Regina. There was a lot of eggs and wild boar involved in the dishes. I don't remember ever eating wild boar before, but I have to admit that it tasted way better than regular pork. Wild boar has climbed to near the top of my list. It might be difficult to dethrone lamb though. I got the fixed-price meal which involved 5 rounds of dishes including dessert. I also sucked down 2 glasses of pretty tasty red wine, a Meritage and a Shiraz. The only problem I had with the experience is that there is always a time lag between dishes when you eat alone. There's nobody to talk to, so you basically scarf down the meal at double the pace. I would do this, then stare blankly at my glass of wine, swish it around a bit, take a sip and rinse it through my mouth like Listerine. I'd do this about 30 times while punching random buttons on my phone. Then the next dish would come. It's just one of the many struggles on the road.

But not all sucks...I get to sleep here!...